Summer Social Superpowers: Helping Your Child Build Social Skills During the Break
Summer is the perfect time for children to develop and strengthen their social skills. With school on break, kids have more opportunities to explore friendships, engage in new activities, and practice the art of getting along with others. As parents, you can use this time to help your child build essential social skills that will not only enhance their relationships but also boost their confidence and emotional intelligence.
Catherine Newman’s book, What Can I Say? A Kids’ Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself, serves as a wonderful resource for teaching children how to navigate social situations. Newman’s approach is practical, kind, and empowering, offering tools for kids to express themselves effectively while fostering positive connections with others. Below, we’ll explore how you can use the summer break to help your child practice these skills in fun and meaningful ways.
Why Social Skills Matter
Social skills are the foundation of healthy relationships and effective communication. They help children express their needs, understand others, resolve conflicts, and build lasting friendships. While some children naturally excel in social situations, others may need guidance and practice to feel more comfortable.
Catherine Newman emphasizes that social skills aren’t just about being polite—they’re about creating genuine connections and understanding how to navigate the complexities of human interactions. By focusing on empathy, kindness, and clear communication, children can learn to build stronger bonds with their peers and the people around them.
Summer as a Social Skills Learning Lab
The unstructured nature of summer provides countless opportunities for social growth. Whether your child is attending a camp, playing with neighborhood friends, or participating in family gatherings, each interaction is a chance to practice key skills. Here’s how you can guide your child in developing their social abilities during the summer months:
1. Teach the Art of Conversation
One of the main social skills Newman highlights in her book is the importance of good conversation. This includes asking questions, listening actively, and knowing how to join or exit a conversation politely.
How to Practice:
Encourage your child to practice asking open-ended questions, like “What’s your favorite thing about summer so far?” or “What’s something fun you’ve done this week?”
Role-play conversations with your child before they head into social settings. For example, practice how they can introduce themselves to a new friend at the park or join a group at camp.
Teach them the importance of listening without interrupting. You can model this by giving them your full attention during conversations.
2. Encourage Empathy and Kindness
Empathy is a cornerstone of strong social skills. Newman suggests that children learn to put themselves in someone else’s shoes to better understand their feelings and perspectives.
How to Practice:
Talk about emotions with your child. For example, after watching a movie or reading a book, ask, “How do you think that character felt? What would you have done in their situation?”
Encourage acts of kindness. This could be as simple as sharing toys with a sibling, helping a neighbor, or inviting a shy child to play.
Use real-life experiences to discuss how empathy works. If your child unintentionally hurts someone’s feelings, help them reflect on how the other person might feel and how they can make amends.
3. Practice Conflict Resolution
Conflict is an inevitable part of social interactions, but how children handle it can make all the difference. Newman’s book offers practical tips for resolving disagreements respectfully and effectively.
How to Practice:
Teach your child to use “I” statements, such as “I feel upset when you take my toy without asking” instead of blaming or accusing.
Role-play common conflicts, like arguing over a turn on the swing, and practice finding solutions together.
Remind them to take a deep breath and stay calm when conflicts arise. You can model this behavior by staying calm during disagreements at home.
4. Help Them Manage Social Anxiety
Some children may feel nervous or shy in social situations, especially when meeting new people. Newman’s advice includes helping kids reframe their nervousness as excitement and giving them tools to feel more at ease.
How to Practice:
Encourage your child to start small, such as saying “hi” to a neighbor or introducing themselves to one new person at camp.
Teach them to use positive self-talk, like “I can do this” or “It’s okay to feel nervous.”
Share your own experiences with feeling shy or nervous and how you overcame it.
5. Promote Responsibility and Independence
Newman also emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one’s actions and being a reliable friend. These qualities help children build trust and strengthen their relationships.
How to Practice:
Assign age-appropriate responsibilities at home, like helping with chores or planning a family activity.
Teach your child to follow through on commitments, such as showing up on time for playdates or helping out as promised.
Discuss the importance of apologizing when they’ve made a mistake and making an effort to fix it.
6. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
Showing gratitude is a simple yet powerful social skill. Newman suggests that children learn how to express thanks and recognize others’ efforts.
How to Practice:
Encourage your child to say “thank you” whenever someone does something kind for them.
Help them write thank-you notes for gifts or favors.
Model gratitude by expressing appreciation for things they do, such as helping with chores or being kind to a sibling.
Fun Summer Activities to Build Social Skills
Here are some specific activities inspired by Newman’s ideas that you can do with your child:
Host a Playdate: Give your child the opportunity to practice sharing, taking turns, and starting conversations in a relaxed setting.
Join a Camp or Club: Camps and summer programs offer a great way for kids to meet new people and practice teamwork. https://www.sproutinmotion.com/groups
Family Game Nights: Board games encourage kids to take turns, follow rules, and handle winning and losing gracefully.
Volunteer Together: Helping others can teach your child empathy and the value of contributing to their community.
Create a Social Skills Journal: Encourage your child to reflect on their interactions by writing about what went well and what they’d like to improve.
Summer is more than just a break from school—it’s a chance for your child to grow socially and emotionally. By using Catherine Newman’s practical and compassionate advice from What Can I Say?, you can help your child develop the tools they need to build meaningful relationships and navigate social situations with confidence.
Remember, social skills take time and practice to develop. Celebrate your child’s efforts and progress, even if it’s just a small step forward. With your encouragement and support, they’ll head into the new school year equipped with stronger social skills and a greater sense of self-assurance.